Order of the Wolf
by shadowycat
Summary: Did you ever wonder what Remus Lupin said to that unfortunate man who'd been bitten by a werewolf and was sharing a ward with Arthur Weasley at Christmas in OotP? I did.


Disclaimer:  None of the recognizable characters and settings in this story belong to me.  They are the intellectual property of J. K. Rowling.  All rights to them belong to her.  I make no money from this at all, as this story exists purely for the enjoyment of any and all who wish to read it.  I'm strictly in this for the fun. :)

                                                                                                            Order of the Wolf

                                                                                                               by shadowycat

Christmas is a lousy time to be in the hospital, and it helps so much to have family and friends by your side if there's simply no choice.  Arthur Weasley's family crowded eagerly around his bed to offer their love and support, to express their good wishes, and their slightly chiding commentary which covered their desperate thankfulness for his safety.  When an argument about the treatment of his injuries suddenly erupted, those not completely involved began to move slightly away from the family to give them a bit more privacy.  

With a wistful smile on his tired face, Remus Lupin stepped back to the edge of the throng and gazed with a slightly melancholy air at the lively bickering group.  Once more he was a part, yet set apart.  Belonging.  Yet not.

His eyes sought a refuge from the merriment and concern, and he turned his head to scan the rest of the ward looking for something else to occupy his thoughts.  Immediately he found himself drawn to the pale envious face of a frightened young man in one of the beds across the aisle.  He'd forgotten.  How could he have forgotten?  Well, he knew the answer to that.  To remember brought those horrid days and hours back with crystal clarity, and he'd spent a lifetime trying to forget that period in his life.  Yet here it was again, etched firmly on the face of a stranger.  A brother under the moon.

With a brief glance back at the Weasley clan who'd probably not even notice his leaving, he resolutely turned his footsteps across the small room until he stood at the bedside of the frightened and envious man in the narrow cot.

"They're quite a force of nature when they all get together, aren't they?"  He offered to the figure in the bed who hadn't noticed his approach with his attention so firmly locked on the mass of red heads across the aisle.

The man jumped slightly at being spoken to and turned his pale face to the side on his pillow to look up at Lupin.  His restless eyes scanned the features of his unexpected visitor in surprise and his brows drew together in an automatic frown.  "What do you want?  Here to gawk at the animal?"  he exclaimed rudely.

Lupin remembered the anger and understood the rudeness, which covered the absolute terror that never stopped.  He'd been so much younger than this man who looked to be in his late twenties, but the feelings of unfairness, anger and overwhelming dread were the same no matter what the age of initiation into the order of the wolf.

Lupin sighed quietly and seated himself in the chair which stood conveniently next to the bed without waiting for the invitation that he knew wouldn't be forthcoming.

At this intrusion on his solitude, the patient bristled and shifted around in the bed to face his unwanted visitor and exclaim sharply, "Hey, no one gave you permission to sit down.  From your clothes it's obvious that you don't work here, and I sure as hell don't know you so you can just take yourself back over to that mob across the way that you came from and leave me alone.  Did they feel sorry for the animal and decide that they had to share?  Did you draw the short straw and get elected sacrificial lamb?   Just go away!  I don't need any pity company!  You'd better watch your step anyway.  Didn't they tell you I'm dangerous!  I might bite you, and then you'd be sorry you ever stepped out of bounds."

Lupin smiled sadly and spoke in his calm quiet voice, "Too late, I'm afraid.  You're not particularly dangerous to me."

The man, who'd turned away when he finished his little speech, turned back sharply at Lupin's words and although it didn't seem possible, became even paler.  "What do you mean?" he whispered in fearful understanding, still trying to deny what he didn't want to accept.  "Are you?  Have you…?"  His voice trailed off faintly.

Lupin nodded simply and stared at him with compassion.

"You're an animal, too?" the reluctant werewolf whispered.

Lupin forced a smile and shook his head.  "Well, I hardly think of myself as an animal.  I'm a man, just like you.  We've simply had the same bout of misfortune that's made us more than we once were, and we just have to find a way to deal with it."

The angry patient leaned back into the pillows with a sigh.  "More than I once was.  That's a stupid way to put it.  I'm not more than I was; I'm less, much less.  I'm not human anymore.  Everyone knows it, that's why they haven't come to see me since I've been in here.  We're little better than animals, you and I.  No one wants to be around creatures like us."

How familiar and uncomfortable these feeling were.  Forcing back the twinge of painful shame that the angry words brought rushing to the surface, Lupin sought to deny this speech to both of them.

"No.  You are human.  That hasn't changed no matter what you've heard from others.  This doesn't render us any less than we were.  It adds a dimension to us; it doesn't take away.  You're the same person that you always were.  You've just developed a condition that means you have to make some accommodations that you didn't before, that's all."

A short bark of nasty laughter erupted from the young man's cynical mouth.  "Accommodations.  Condition.  You make it sound like I've caught a cold and mustn't cough on the neighbors when they come round for tea!"  His eyes narrowed to slits, and he appraised Lupin shrewdly.   "Why don't you just come clean about it?  It's called a curse for a reason you know.  I'm not a fool.  I've run into your kind," he hesitated and added angrily, "our kind, before.   Obviously.  I know how we're looked upon in society.  I know the ugly truth.  Why do you insist on lying to me?    I used to think it didn't matter.  That werewolves were people just like everyone else, but I was wrong.  It matters.  It matters a lot.   Look, my life is over.  Don't pretend otherwise!  I know better."

He suddenly hitched himself up on one elbow and peered closely into Lupin's face.  "Do you know that I've been in here for ages all ready?  More than a week at Christmas!  And has my father come to see me?  Have any of my "friends"?"  He laughed bitterly.   "Has my "loving" wife shown her beautiful little face here?  No!"

The werewolf fell back against the pillow and stared across the aisle once more envious of the gathering of redheads around the nearby bed of Arthur Weasley.  "His family and friends come clustering around constantly.  They want to spend time with him.  They're not afraid of him, like mine are me.  Now go away and leave me alone.  I have nothing else to say to you."

      ********************************************************************************************************************

Lupin begged off protective duties for the trip back to Grimmauld Place.  His talk with the newly minted werewolf hadn't gone the way he'd hoped, and it preyed on his mind.  He wandered around London aimlessly for awhile wishing he could put things into perspective and figure out how to help this young man.  Apparently simply having experienced the same condition for all these years wasn't going to be enough to get through all the anger and terror that this newest victim of one of the oldest curses felt.

Lupin sighed and glanced up into the heavy leaden skies.  It wasn't his problem.  He didn't even know this man, not even his name, but he so deeply understood the pain he was in, and he wanted to help.  Felt compelled to do so.

Perhaps what he needed was some advice from someone wiser than himself.  It might help to talk it over with someone else.  Someone who, while perhaps not so personally involved, had far more life experience than he did, and always seemed to know just the right thing to say.  He smiled.  Being a Gryffindor that usually left him with two choices.

      *********************************************************************************************************************

Minerva McGonagall opened her door to find a shivering werewolf dripping snow into the corridor.

He smiled at her.  "Happy Christmas, Minerva.  Quite a blizzard you've got going here."

"My goodness, Remus!  Come in and warm up.  What's brought you to Hogwarts today?  I thought most everyone would be celebrating Christmas at Grimmauld Place so they could be with Sirius and go to visit Arthur at St. Mungo's."

She opened her door widely and ushered the very damp wizard into her sitting room and straight over to the warm fire that crackled and snapped in the fireplace.  Briskly she divested him of his cloak and scarf and draped them over a drying rack that stood close to one side of the blaze where it would be most useful.  Then she waved him to a chair and took one across from him.

"I was at St. Mungo's earlier visiting Arthur.  He's had a small set back in his treatment, I think, but everyone is still optimistic that things will go well long term.  He was in good spirits and glad to see everyone."

She smiled.  "I'm glad to hear it.  That attack was such a dreadful thing.  I've been praying that he'd recover fully."

Remus nodded politely wondering just how to approach the real reason for his visit.

"Let me get some tea into you so you can warm up enough to tell me why you've come to see me.  It's obvious that you have something on your mind."

Remus smiled and leaned back in his chair feeling that he'd come to the right place.  Minerva waved her wand and spoke a special summoning charm to bring one of the house elves.

Within moments, Dobby had appeared at her side interestingly decorated with sprigs of holly adorning his tea cozy and rather garish glass ornaments swinging from his ears.

"Yes, Professor Minerva McGonagall?  How can Dobby be of service?"

Minerva smiled at Dobby's festive cheer, but refrained from commenting on his interesting choice of decoration.  Instead she merely folded her hands in her lap and stated politely, "We'd like some hot tea, Dobby, if it's not too much trouble.  I know that things must be pretty hectic down in the kitchens at the moment."

Dobby beamed.  "Oh yes, things are humming right along down there at the moment, yes they are indeed.  We are never too busy to bring tea to someone as kind as you are though, Miss.  Christmas is one of Dobby's very favorite days.  Everyone is so busy.  It is making us all very happy, it is."  Then the elf paused and nodded knowingly at Minerva.  "And may Dobby say that you are looking very fetching today Professor Minerva McGonagall, very fetching indeed."

Minerva coloured warmly and glanced sideways at her rather surprised and highly amused visitor.  "Thank you, Dobby.  Are you having any luck there?"

Dobby grinned from ear to ear.  "Oh yes, Dobby thinks so, Miss.  Compliments seem to be making Drenda very happy.  Thank you so much for your very kind advice to Dobby."

"Not at all, Dobby.  I'm glad things are progressing so nicely."

Then when Dobby simply stood there with a happy smile on his face, Minerva prodded him gently.  "The tea, Dobby.  Mr. Lupin is really quite chilled and needs to warm up."

Dobby started sharply and nodded, "Yes, Miss.  Right away.  Dobby is sorry for delaying.  So sorry."  With that he vanished in the blink of an eye.

Minerva turned to Remus with a small embarrassed smile.  "I suppose that requires a little explanation."

He laughed.  "Oh, I think I can guess.  I gather the fetching Professor McGonagall has been giving romantic advice to Dobby."

The Transfigurations teacher blushed quite attractively once more and nodded.  "I know it sounds odd, an old lady like me giving romantic advice to a house elf, but Dobby was having trouble attracting the attentions of a female elf with whom he is apparently quite smitten and he asked for my advice.  Why he chose me, I don't know.  I simply suggested that he try giving her a few compliments.  Everyone enjoys hearing that they've done a good job with something or are looking particularly attractive, so I figured that I was on fairly safe ground suggesting that course of action.  Now he practices on me whenever he sees me."

At that instant Dobby returned with a large silver tea service and a couple of china teacups balanced carefully on a tray in his small hands.  With a flourish he set his burden down on the low table in front of the fire and vanished with a deep bow.

Minerva slid forward in her chair immediately to pour out the tea, inquiring politely how Remus wanted his fixed.  When they both had steaming cups in their hands, she added thoughtfully, "Romantic advice wouldn't be what you've come to see me for now would it?  If so, perhaps I should start up an advice column in Witch Weekly magazine, though what Albus would say to that I couldn't imagine."  

She blushed faintly again.  "Well, yes I suppose I could, and it's probably best not to go there at all."

She smiled warmly and Remus smiled back.

"I wish it were something as happy as that, though I did come hoping that you'd have some advice for me."

"I'll certainly be happy to try.  What seems to be the problem?"

Remus set his cup back down on the tea table and rose from his seat to pace around the room restlessly.  "It's not even my problem, really, but I understand it so deeply and I want to help.  I just don't seem to be able to."

The perplexed witch sat back and watched her friend prowl.  "Well, if you'll just tell me what the problem is perhaps we can work out a solution together."

Remus stopped his pacing and looked at her with a sad expression on his face.  "At St. Mungo's, on the same ward as Arthur, there's a young man who's just recently been bitten by a werewolf."

Minerva nodded.  Now it all made sense.  "I see.  Is this someone you know?"

Remus shrugged.  "No, but that doesn't matter.  He's in pain, a lot of it, and I know what that's like.  I know all too well.  I spoke to him, but he wasn't in a listening mood.  I spoke to his Healer, too, but apparently they aren't having much luck getting through to him either.  His family hasn't even been in to see him once since he was bitten.  They'll be releasing him soon, I'm sure, and I'm afraid of what he might do."

"Is he suicidal do you think?"

He sighed.  "Not yet, but I'm willing to bet that the way he's going he'll get there before long.  He's still so angry, but the fact that his family isn't supporting him is gnawing at him.  He thinks his life is over, and I couldn't make him understand that it doesn't have to be like that.  He can live a practically normal life; he's just going to have to make some accommodations."

"He's right, though, Remus.  His life is over."

"What?"  He was stunned.  "How can you say that?"

"Don't misunderstand me.  You're right to say that he can live a practically normal life, but there will be huge adjustments to make, and the life that he knew before is gone forever.  This will change everything that he's known and felt about himself for all of his life. He will have to accept the fact that he's going to have to start over in most all of the ways that count, and it won't be easy."

"I suppose so."  Remus threw himself down in his chair again and stared at her thoughtfully.  "Despite sharing this rotten curse, I may not be the one who can really help him through this adjustment.  I barely remember what it was like not to be a werewolf.  I was so young when I was bitten.  I remember being bitten vividly, as well as what happened afterwards, but before is all a blur.  My family stood by me, though.  Most of the time.  I knew they were afraid of me sometimes, but mostly they always seemed to be afraid for me."

Minerva nodded sadly.  "Yes, our society is so conflicted when it comes to werewolves, and fear is the root of that conflict.  No one ever chooses to become a werewolf and it's something that could happen to anyone, yet that fact always seems to get lost in the fear that's engendered by the condition.  Familiarity would help with that fear, I always thought.  If more werewolves would stand up and identify themselves openly and demand that society treat them as fully functioning and responsible members, perhaps some of the prejudice would disappear.  Perhaps not, but it would open up the subject and shine some much needed light on it."

"You can't reason with terrified people, Minerva.  It's so deeply rooted within the psyche that some people just can't be rational about it.  Look at Snape.  We're both grown adults now, but he just can't ever get past that painful incident in our childhood.  Every time he looks at me all he sees is snarling and drooling jaws snapping at his face; I can see it in his eyes and who can blame him?"

He sighed and slumped down morosely.  "Werewolves have to be careful.  We're still outcasts in society, which is why it's so hard to help this man.  I try to tell him that he can live a pretty normal life, but that's still gilding the truth.  A lot.  Without the prejudice, yes, the fact is that other than having to confine yourself at the full moon, life doesn't change very much.  There're a few hormonal things.  The metabolism speeds up, but in general it's all pretty manageable.  But people will back away from him.  He may lose his job, and if he did, it wouldn't be against the law.  Well, I've managed to pretty well depress myself completely here.  Maybe he's right to just stay angry."

Minerva reached across and patted his leg comfortingly.  "Being angry at the world never is truly helpful though, is it?  It's just not possible to fight against such a nameless and faceless entity.  That sort of unfocused anger always ends up hurting the one who's angry more than anyone else.  The situation for werewolves is a very grim reality, Remus.  You'd be doing this young man a disservice to shy away from this, but there's always hope that things will get better.  The Wolfsbane potion has made some difference already in the acceptance of werewolves by society.  Once it becomes more widely available, things will improve even more, I'm sure, and there are very talented people out there trying hard to find a cure for this curse so he shouldn't give up hope and neither should you."

Remus smiled wryly back at her.  "No.  I can't let myself give up hope.  But how do I get through to him?  How can I convince him that he can go on, and that he has a reason to do so?"

"The best way is to make sure that he really does have a reason.  Have you thought about talking to his family?  They must love him, just as they've always done.  They're probably just very scared.  Possibly no one has talked to them yet, and they don't understand what the truth really is here.  Did the Healers try to speak to them?"

"I'm not sure."  He stared down at his feet.  "I think they may have tried, but I don't know how hard.  It's possible that they couldn't get through to anyone.  They're pretty busy treating the sick and injured.  I doubt if they have the time to track down the families of werewolves and try to convince them to support their loved ones."

"Maybe they'd be grateful to have you take that task on for them, Remus.  If you'd be willing to try."  Her voice was soft and full of sympathy.

Remus wiped a thoughtful hand over his face and turned his eyes once more to hers.  "Yeah.  Maybe they would."

        *******************************************************************************************************************

As Minerva was standing by her window and watching Remus make his way across the snow covered grounds of the castle, the door to her chamber opened behind her accompanied by a brief knock.

"It's time to go down to dinner, Minerva."

She nodded absently but didn't turn away from the window.  "All right."

Curious, the tall figure of the Potions master crossed the room to stand closely behind her and peer out into the lengthening shadows at the figure disappearing into the softly falling snow.

"Is that Lupin?  What did he want?" 

"Some advice," she answered thoughtfully. 

A sharp snort of disgust echoed in her ear.  "Can't he figure out how to run his own pitiful life without help?"

Minerva sighed and sent a slightly chiding look at her companion.  "Actually he was seeking advice for someone else who really needs it but has no one to ask."

Snape cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.  "Ah, being the noble Gryffindor again.  I take it that the unfortunate soul in question isn't a Slytherin then."

Minerva's lips curved up slightly as she answered and turned back to the storm outside through which she could no longer see the small dark figure.  "I doubt if Remus knows or cares."

At the non-committal grunt that was her answer, she added, "I hope I was able to help him."

There was a pause, then his stern voice answered softly.  "I'm sure that you did.  You've always given me excellent advice."

She turned and smiled up into his face.  "Even when you've chosen not to take it?"

A faint smile twisted the corner of his lips.  "Even then.  Come on, we don't want to keep Albus waiting for too long.  You know he wants everyone there when he starts pulling open those ridiculous crackers.  He always wants to have a wide assortment of victims to torment with the things he manages to pull out of them."

She smiled at her companion's dire predictions, but as they headed off to Christmas dinner, her thoughts remained with the lonely wizard trudging onward through the snow on his difficult mission, and she wished him well.

          *****************************************************************************************************************

As afternoon settled into evening, Lupin found himself standing outside a modest cottage on a shabby street in a small town in the middle of nowhere.  He checked the address he'd managed to talk the Healers into giving him once more just to be sure, but it appeared to be correct.

There were lights on inside the cottage, and as he watched, the shadow of a woman moved across the curtains that shrouded the front window from the outside world.  He was afraid to go up to the door and knock.  They might not even be willing to talk to him.  Yet he wasn't any better off if he didn't try than if he was thrown out, and if he did try and actually succeeded just think how much of a difference he might make.

Summoning up the courage that was supposed to be in there somewhere, he was a Gryffindor after all, he walked up to the front door of the cottage and knocked firmly before he could change his mind.

After a brief delay, the door was opened by a small pretty woman with a questioning look on her face.  Lupin took in her large brown eyes, her tear-streaked features, and the fact that she appeared to be at least six months pregnant.  "Oh, dear," he thought.  "That makes this more important than ever."

Smiling kindly, he asked, "Mrs. Fenris?"

The woman nodded.  "Yes, I'm Kantha Fenris.  Can I help you?"

"I'm hoping that I can help you, actually.  My name is Remus Lupin.  I was given your address by the Healers at St. Mungo's.  I was hoping to be able to talk to you about your husband."

A sharp breath shot through her lips and her skin paled in the glow of the light leaking out from inside.  "Is Randy worse?  Has something else happened?"

"No, Mrs. Fenris.  Your husband is doing well.  In fact, he'll be released from the hospital soon.  Could I please have a moment of your time to talk about him?  I'll try not to take too long."

Still she hesitated, but the cold wind was making her shiver, so after a long internal debate, she held open the door and allowed Remus to enter the small front parlor of the cottage.

Realizing that she'd been rude to make him stand in the doorway for so long, she tried to make amends by offering to take his cloak and get him a warm drink.  He handed over the cloak and watched as she hung it on a rack by the door, but he passed on the drink, not wanting to put her out on his behalf.

"Please, sit down, Mr. Lupin."  She gestured towards a worn but comfortable looking couch.  

As he sat down she perched awkwardly in a straight chair that sat next to the couch.  She reminded him of a bird ready to take flight at any moment depending on the moves made by the cat on the ground beneath the tree.

"How is Randy?  Is he all right?" she asked timidly as she absently rubbed a trembling hand across her burgeoning belly.

"Physically, he's recovered well from the trauma of the bite, Mrs. Fenris."  He noticed how she winced as he said the word bite and his heart went out to her.  "But mentally and emotionally, he's having a really hard time of it.  It'd help him so much if you'd come to see him.  He misses you.  May I ask why you haven't been in to see him?  There's no chance of contagion, you know."

A faint flush suffused her features and she twisted one hand inside the other, but before she could respond, a commanding voice answered for her from the staircase across the room.

"She hasn't been to see him because I have forbidden it!"

Lupin turned his attention to the tall and formidable man who'd just descended the staircase and now stood at its foot with a dark scowl on his stern face.  The man possessed a passing resemblance to the young man lying in the hospital bed so Lupin made the assumption that this was probably his father, the one whose presence had been notably absent from his son's bedside.  His thoughts were confirmed by Kantha Fenris' nervous response.

The fidgety woman sprang to her feet and held an entreating hand out to the tall man.  "Abidan.  This is Mr. Lupin, he's from St. Mungo's.  He wants to talk about Randy."

"There's nothing to talk about.  My son foolishly fell in with a bad crowd.  He made some unforgivable choices, and now he has to pay for them.  As far as we're concerned, he might as well have died in that attack.  He's no longer welcome here.  I wouldn't allow such animals in my home, and my son is now no better than they are."

Lupin frowned.  This situation was going to be more difficult than he'd thought.

"Your son is the same person he was before he was bitten, Mr. Fenris.  He's lonely and frightened, and he needs your support, not your condemnation."

Mr. Fenris glared at Remus.  "Werewolves are not to be trusted.  Any five year old wizard should know that, but did it stop him from associating with them?  No.  If he'd stayed away from those creatures like I told him to, nothing would've happened to him.  He refused to listen to me so now he's got to live with the consequences.  He can join his friends as an outcast of proper wizarding society, and good riddance."

"Mr. Fenris.  Don't you love your son?"

"Of course I loved my son, but he refused to listen to me.  Refused to act as a proper wizard should.  Now he has to pay for that.  He's dead to me.  He'll not be welcomed here when you throw him out of hospital.  I won't be turned into the subject of neighborhood gossip and ridicule.  He's on his own now."

Remus was shocked by this totally uncompromising attitude.  No wonder Randy Fenris was so angry at his family for not coming to see him.  He knew what it meant.  Hoping that all wasn't lost, he turned to Randy's wife.

"And is that how you feel as well, Mrs. Fenris?"

The woman was so pale that Remus was afraid that she was about to faint.  Conflict was scrawled across her face with a broad pen.  But when she opened her mouth to answer him, and was rudely interrupted by her domineering father-in-law, fear was what Remus saw most strongly marked.

"Of course, it's how she feels.  Now that we've made our positions clear to you.  I think it's time you left."

Still hoping to get through to one of them, Remus turned sincerely to the scared young wife.

"Your baby will need its father, Mrs. Fenris, and I'm sure that he misses both of you.  He needs to see you.  Needs to know that you still love him.  Won't you consider coming to see him, please?  He's the same man he always was, you know.  The wolf doesn't change the man inside, but your abandoning him would."

Tears glistened in her eyes as she met his earnest gaze with her own.

But once more, as she opened her mouth to speak, she was stopped by the strident tones of the older man.

"That's enough.  You were asked politely to leave.  Would you prefer it if I threw you out?"  The man had crossed the room and yanked open the door letting the cold winter air flow in briskly and chill them all to the bone.

Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor in this case, Lupin crossed to the coat rack and claimed his cloak, which he wrapped closely around his shoulders.

"No, Mr. Fenris, I'll leave.  I really do wish you'd change your mind, though.  Randy is exactly the same man he was before this happened, and he needs the love of his family to help him through this.  If he'd been trampled by a hippogriff or set upon by thieves, you'd have stood by him wouldn't you?  This really isn't any different."

Fenris eyed him coldly.  "Of course it's different.  No one will be safe around Randy now.  Thieves and hippogriffs don't turn people into monsters, and that's what my son is now, a monster."

       *******************************************************************************************************************

Lupin wandered some more before ending up back outside St. Mungo's.   All he'd managed to do was muddy the waters surrounding Randy Fenris even more than they'd been when he'd talked to him that afternoon.  He'd really wanted to help the man, to get his family to come and support him so he'd be motivated to go on and find a way to deal with his new reality, but instead all he'd managed to do was make people angry and thoroughly depress himself.  Pitiful.

He really ought to just go home and call it a night before he did anything else really stupid, but something drew him back here.  Some need to try one more time to get through to the newest member of the pack.  So he entered the hospital and made his way to the Dai Llewellyn Ward for victims of serious bites.

The ward was quiet when he got there and he took a moment to speak to trainee Healer Pye, who assured him that even though regular visiting hours were over, he could still have a few minutes with Randy Fenris.  They were still very concerned about his adaptation to the new reality of his life.  No one had had any success in getting through to the man so they were certainly willing to let Lupin have another go at it.

Lupin approached Fenris' bed silently and seated himself in the chair.  He really wasn't at all sure just what he could say to the man that he hadn't already said but he simply couldn't leave things the way they were.  After a few moments of silence, Fenris opened his eyes and turned to Lupin.

"I was hoping that you'd think I was asleep and would just go away," he said resignedly.

Lupin grinned.  "No chance.  One nice little bonus of lycanthropy is that your senses sharpen quite a lot.  I could tell from your breathing and your heartbeat that you were awake.  It's much harder to fool a werewolf than an ordinary human.  You'll see, once you get used to it."

Fenris' nodded thoughtfully.  "Well, it's nice to know that it's not all bad, I suppose.  Though I hardly think that being able to tell if someone is asleep or awake is worth the trade off of having a normal life."

Lupin shrugged.  "Your eyesight and hearing will also be keener.  That can come in handy at times."

The man snorted shortly.  "Not around here."  He nodded to the woman at the other end of the ward.  "She snores like a lumberjack.  It would be bad enough under normal circumstances, but you're right about the hearing.  I haven't slept a wink since I've been in here."  His face hardened slightly.  "Makes it all too easy to hear all the nasty little whispers, too."

Lupin nodded.  "I know.  I'm sorry."

Fenris sighed.  "No.  I'm the one who owes you an apology.  I shouldn't have gone off on you this afternoon the way that I did.  I'm just so angry."  He clenched his fists.  "Mostly at myself for being so stupid!  I've been taking it out on everyone around here ever since I was brought in.  Not that it's helped any.  Hasn't even made me feel any better.  I just don't know what to do now.  I just don't know."  He let out a ragged breath and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"How did this happen to you anyway?"

"I was careless.  I'm a reporter for a small rag called the "Magic Mirror".  My most recent assignment was to find out more about werewolves.  You know, what it's like to exist under a curse in wizarding society, that sort of thing."

He shook his head at the irony.  "I'll certainly be able to write a brilliant "day in the life piece" once I get out of here, won't I?  Oh well.  Anyway, I was curious about what it was like to actually transform, so one of my contacts agreed to let me watch.  To make a long story mercifully short, the safety precautions that we thought would be good enough, weren't, and here I am, England's latest monster!"

Lupin heard the taunting tone of his father in his words, and he automatically reached out and laid a comforting hand on his arm.  "No.  You're not a monster.  Don't ever let anyone tell you differently."

"My father would be the first one to disagree with you on that," snapped Fenris shortly.

Lupin hesitated, but decided to forge ahead.  "I know.  I talked to your father earlier this evening, but he's wrong."

Randy Fenris' eyes opened wide in shock, and he snapped his head around and stared at Lupin.  "You spoke to him?  Why?"

"I thought that if I could just talk to your family, make them understand, that maybe they wouldn't be so frightened and would come and visit and stand by you."

The young werewolf laughed a bitter laugh.  "Frightened.  That's a good one.  My father isn't frightened of me.  The only thing that frightens my father is the thought of losing face in society.  Of having anyone know that his son is a monster."

Lupin nodded in understanding.  "I'm sorry."

"Did you see Kantha, too?" Randy asked timidly.

"Yes.  I did."

Pain washed over Randy's face like rainwater.  "How was she?  Was she well?  Did she say anything about me?  I miss her so much, but she must hate me now, too."  His voice was edging back into bitterness.

"No.  I don't think so."  Lupin tried to be reassuring.  "She seemed very worried about you, but I think she was too intimidated by your father to say so."

"Yeah, good old Dad.  He always insists on running the show and everyone's lives.  He won't let her out from under his thumb.  I guess my marriage, like the rest of my life really is over now."

Before Lupin could decide whether or not to try to wade back into the quicksand that covered this topic from one end to the other, there was a slight disturbance at the other end of the ward.  Both werewolves turned to look and found the obviously nervous but determined figure of Kantha Fenris walking down the aisle towards them.

Randy Fenris pushed himself up on his elbows and stared longingly at his wife as she moved hesitantly closer and closer to his bedside.  Lupin immediately got up and offered her his chair, which she took with a nervous smile before focusing all her attention on her anxious husband.

"Hello, Randy.  How are you?" she whispered softly.  Her eyes glistened slightly with suppressed tears.  Haltingly she extended a hand to lay it gently on his arm.

"Kanty.   Oh god, I've missed you so much.  I thought I'd lost you forever with my stupidity."  He still didn't dare reach out and touch her.

She shook her head.  "I was a coward.  I let your father tell me what to do because I was so scared and didn't know what all this meant, but when Mr. Lupin," she glanced up at Remus with a wavering smile," came to see me this evening, he reminded me how much I love you, Randy.  I didn't want to be without you, no matter what.  I don't care that you're a werewolf.  I only care that you're my husband!"

Her husband sat up and opened his shaking arms to her and with a sob she threw herself into his embrace as if it were the only place in the world that she wanted to be.  For the next few moments nothing could be heard but their quiet sobs and murmurs of love.  Remus was beginning to wish that he'd stepped away from the bed when she'd first shown up because he was awkwardly trapped now between the two of them and the wall.

When they finally broke apart, Kantha wiped her tears and transferred her body from the chair to the side of the bed.  Her hand comfortably engulfed in that of her husband.

Randy asked his wife softly, "What did Dad do when you left to come and see me?"

She sighed.  "He told me not to come back.  I packed a few things, yours as well as mine, and left anyway.  It felt good, too," she said defiantly.

Her husband looked worried.  "Where will you go?  I don't want you out on the streets alone.  It's not safe."

"Don't worry.  I called my sister, Agnes.  Even though we hadn't talked in a long time, she was willing to help.  She never liked your Dad much, but she does like you.  Even more now, it turns out."  She laughed nervously.  "She said that you being a werewolf would make you more interesting.  Agnes always was an odd duck, but she's letting me stay with her for as long as necessary, and she said that you can come stay, too, when they let you out of here."

They smiled at each other.

Lupin felt very much like a third wheel now and he cleared his throat.  "Since I'm sure that the two of you have a lot to talk about, I'll just be on my way."  He edged past the chair but before he could escape, Randy Fenris stopped him.

"Wait, I never even got your name."  He looked questioningly at his wife. "Lupin?  Was it?"

"Yes.  Remus Lupin."

"Well, Remus, thank you.  Thank you for all you did today.  You certainly didn't have to do it, but I really am awfully glad that you did.  I'd been acting like an idiot.  I guess I just needed to know that I had something in my life that wasn't going to change after all."  He smiled at his wife once more, and she squeezed his hand.

Lupin nodded.  "You're welcome.  As I said, I know what it's like.  We're part of the same pack now.  We need to stick together."

Randy smiled a little reluctantly still.  "Yeah.  Yeah, I guess so."

Lupin cleared his throat.  "If you'll tell me how to reach you, I'd like to stop by and see you again.  Maybe before the next full moon, to see how you're doing."

"I'd like that.  I'm not sure about the address though."  He looked questioningly at Kantha, but she was way ahead of him scribbling busily on a torn scrap of paper that she handed to Remus with a smile.

"Thank you again, Mr. Lupin.  We owe you a lot.  Merry Christmas."

He smiled back at her as he pocketed the bit of paper.  "You're welcome, Kantha and it's Remus.  Merry Christmas to you both.  Take care."

With a final smile and wave he turned and walked out of the ward feeling much better than when he'd entered just a short time before.

When he found himself once more out on the sidewalk in the crisp cold night air, he paused and thought about everything that had happened today.  Randy Fenris still had a long way to go before he'd be comfortable as a werewolf, but with the help of his wife, he thought that things would turn out okay for the two of them in the end.

Family can make all the difference in your life.  If they forsake you, it can be the worst thing to ever happen, but if they're there for you, if they support you no matter what, you can survive almost anything.  Despite what others might think, he thought he was a pretty lucky guy himself.  When he'd first become a werewolf, his family had stood by him and kept on loving him even in the face of the curse and the prejudice that it brought with it.

After they were gone, he'd already found a second family at Hogwarts.  That made him twice blessed and he supposed that it was past time that he went on home and told the people he loved just how he felt about them.  So Remus glanced up at the stars sparkling brightly overhead with a smile of satisfaction.  Then he set his feet towards Grimmauld Place where his family was now.


End file.
